Trek Tech's Most Popular Post in 2011: Zom-pocalypse Wish List

I have to admit, I was pretty shocked at how popular this year's number one post was. Within a week, this post doubled the previous top dog's page views. Which probably means you guys are just as twisted as I am. I'm glad we're all going to be ready when the inevitable happens.

Wish List: Gifts for the Zombie Apocalypse

You can find gifts for the runner, backpacker, etc. on every other outdoor gear blog. Literally. Great websites that'll help you shop for the outdoorsy loved ones in your life. Some of my favorites are listed here under Friends of Trek Tech. Good people, all.

HOWEVER, only Trek Tech brings the Zom-Pocalypse to your doorstep. If (when?) the dead rise, you know the survivors will be the ones who know how to survive outside. So it's no surprise that some of the best zombie survival gear comes from the outdoors world. I asked around the Book of Faces, and a surprising amount of recommendations involved a fresh set of undies. Here are some gifts for your crazy uncle with the zombie obsession. 

Gerber Legendary Blades Apocalypse Kit ($350, gerbergear.com)

It's a no-brainer (get it?). Like I said in an earlier post, blades don't run out of ammo and they keep you silent, but deadly to the undead. Gerber Legendary Blades' seven piece A-Kit lets you pick the right knife/machete/hatchet for dispatching the "life-impared." Note: the kit is sold out (of course), but the individual components are all available, so you can mix 'n match your own kit.

Tactical Bacon ($15 for a 9oz. can, cmmginc.com)

If I had to only eat one thing for the rest of my life...you guessed it. Muscle-building protein, saturated fat for winter weather insulation, and oh, yeah-it's delicious. Tactical Bacon comes fully cooked and has a10+ year shelf life. Nom nom nom. 

Polarmax AYG Boxer Briefs ($29.99, polarmax.com)

The support you need, but the mobility you desire. Polarmax's All Year Gear Boxer Briefs are made of a 4-way stretch that won't hinder motion while you dart through a shambling horde. The Acclimate Fresh treatment lets you go longer between those vulnerable laundry stops, and the polyester dries quickly after those particularly terrifying encounters. 

Kru82 Vodka ($19.99 for 750ml, kru82.com)

When you spend the whole day foraging for food/survivors and sprinting from/braining the undead, you're going to need to chase the pain away. Kru82 brilliantly packs their vodka in a shatterproof 18/8 stainless steel bottle, keeping your beverage safe and sound. Until martini time, that is. 

Darn Tough Merino Run Series Socks ($16, darntough.com)

Regardless of what's going on in the world around you, it's good to know your feet are taken care of. I mean - the last thing you need out there is trenchfoot slowing you down. Darn Tough socks are the toughest socks that you can get your hands on; made with densely-knit merino wool, they're tough, soft, comfortable, and stink-resistant. Heck, they even come with a lifetime guarantee, which is more than I can say for their wearers. 

 

Triple Aught Design's Legionnaire Pants ($129, tripleaughtdesign.com)

Too thick to bite through, yet stylish enough to help you repopulate the planet. The Legionnaire pant sports 9oz cotton herringbone fabric, triple stitching, reinforced knees and a wealth of storage for rapid transit with all your earthly belongings. There's even two secret pockets for stowing valuables if you get accosted by a roving band of marauders (assuming you don't already lead one).

That's a good start. If you've got any other ideas, feel free to chime in. I'm always looking for supplies to add to the bomb shelter.

Top Trek Tech Posts #2: The Hellfire Challenge

Second stop down memory lane is the Hellfire Challenge, Round 1. This account of Outdoor Retailer Summer Market debauchery was responsible for a third of Trek Tech's total views within the first two days of posting and sits just under the number one spot for the year's most popular posts. Apparently, suffering draws a crowd. Here it is, in case you missed it:

Outdoor Retailer Summer Market Day 2: Hellfire Challenge, Part 1

Photo by Amy Jurries

Whenever I travel to a new place, I try to watch Man vs. Food and see what restaurants and food challenges I should try out. If you haven't seen the show, it consists of a tour of various cities around the US, and culminates in a food challenge that entails consuming either a huge quantity of food or a ridiculously spicy meal. 

Since I was in Salt Lake City for Outdoor Retailer Summer Market, I watched the SLC episode, which ended with Kobe Sushi's Hellfire Challenge. The challenge requires you to eat a series of hotter and hotter pieces of sushi, starting with level four and ending with the blazing-hot level seven. Chef Alex has to watch you eat each piece to make sure that you can handle the next. 

On day two of the ORSM I went to dinner with a few people from Columbia Sportswear and some other journalists (including Amy Jurries, The Gearcaster, and Columbia's Andrea Palavicinni, both of whom took a bunch of pictures), and four of us decided to give it a shot. 

From left to right: Billy Brown, Scott Trepanier, Ana Trujillo, and Adam Buchanan Photo by Andrea Pallavicini

The intrepid four were Ana Trujillo, a writer with snewsnet.com, me, and Scott Trepanier and Adam Buchanan from Columbia. This is our story. 

Round One: Levels 4, 5, and 6

After warming up with the deliciously non-spicy Yum-Yum rolls, we get cracking on the first round. This round consists of one peice each of the first three levels. All four of us put these down without much of a struggle; level 4 (with hot Sriracha sauce and a custom set of house spices) is spicy but not  bad, 5 has a little kick at the end of it, and 6 ramps up the heat with red chili shichimi, making it probably the hottest sushi that I've ever eaten at that point. It's not so bad, because we have a strategy of taking a quick chew and swallowing the sushi whole without letting it touch much of our mouths at all. Adam, however, makes the rookie mistake of licking his lips, leading to a gnarly afterburn.  

Ana digging in on the Yum-Yum roll. Photo by Amy Jurries

It's nothing terrible, but Ana calls it quits, wisely deciding that she doesn't like where things were headed.

We're down to three. 

Round 2: Level 6.5

While we wait for level 6.5, Chef Alex jovially chats with us, but I'm only gleaning snippets from his thick accent. Adam, whose lips were still en fuego from the last round, shouts "What's he sayin', Billy?"

Is he hoping for advice? Encouragement? There's none to be found.

Working on 6.5. Photo by Amy Jurries

After about twenty nerve-wracking minutes of waiting, Chef Alex serves us level 6.5. We're about to eat two pieces of level 6.5. Thai chilis are added at this point, making it significantly hotter than the others.  Additionally, level 6.5 is completely covered in cayenne pepper powder. Now, cayenne is pretty hot, but what makes this such a big deal is that it's powder. This negated our attempts to swallow them whole, because the powder tends to coat the inside your mouth, much like eating a cracker when you have cottonmouth.

Level 6. This is not the expression of a happy man. Photo by Andrea Pallavicini

As soon as I start chewing, the cayenne invades every crevice in my mouth. I feel it on my gums, under my tongue, and in my teeth. The burn starts immediately, and Scott, Adam, and I are all at our seats, sweating, coughing, and chugging milk. It was too much for Adam, who backs out, leaving Scott and I to face level 7.

Signing the waiver, note the smile on my face. Photo by Andrea Pallavicini

We have to sign a waiver before we move on. It's very comprehensive, absolving the restaurant of any responsibility for injury or death, making us confirm that we were choosing to do the challenge of our own free will, then writing down our insurance provider, signing it, and getting a witness to sign as well. It all seems very official, but Scott and I sign it, dismissing it as a scare tactic.

Round 3: Level 7 

After a brutal wait (during which Adam heroically went and got Tums for us), they serve us the first two pieces of level 7, complete with sparklers patriotically jutting  from the plate. Level 7 has all the fire of the previous levels, with ground red Chinese chili seeds added to elevate the pain to levels of transcendence reached only by ascetic Hindu shaman and Timothy Leary-era acid fans.

Level 7, where things start to go downhill. Photo by Andrea Pallavicini

We had to eat six pieces of the level 7 in three rounds of two rather than all at once, like on Man vs. Food. According to Chef Alex, this was because too many people were going to the hospital from eating them all at once. 

After a few deep breaths, Scott and I chow down on our sushi, eating fast to get it out of our mouths and past our taste buds as soon as possible. Scott immediately runs outside with his milk to gather his thoughts, but I sat back in my chair and wave it off. It's hot at first, but it settles quickly. I'm pleasantly surprised, actually.

I have no idea what I'm in for. Photo by Amy Jurries

Moments later, the fire comes and it comes with a thunder. It's not really a burning sensation on my tongue, but more of a raw acid feeling in my throat; it feels like someone had put steel wool on a plunger handle and rammed it up and down my throat for five minutes. 

I down my milk, scream for a refill, then run outside to deal with the fire in my head. I'm pouring sweat and tears and drooling like a werewolf - there's a puddle of saliva on the ground in front of me. As I storm around, eyes wide and watering, I look for solace in Scott's face, but find my own desperation reflected back to me. I'm about to tell him that I'm done with the challenge, when he looks at me and says "F--- that, I'm not doing it again." 

I nod agreement and stagger down the sidewalk to be on my own. The sushi had won.

It takes about forty minutes, countless Tums, and who knows how much milk for Scott and I to pull ourselves together enough to drive everybody home. My mouth is feeling better, and with the exception of a little burbling in my stomach, my guts are feeling fine. It's a good thing, too, because Teva's throwing a huge party, and we don't plan on missing it. 

Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.

Tomorrow: The After Party

Top Trek Tech Posts: Fancy Footwear

It's been a great first year at Trek Tech, and some posts have just plain blown up. A few of the most popular posts have revolved around a highly-anticipated piece of gear, but there have been a few surprises.

 

Upcoming gear previews crowded Trek Tech's top ten posts, with footwear dominating the category. Glad you guys are as crazy about shoes as I am. Here's what got your feet excited.

Wired.com Review: Mizuno Wave Prophecy
Mizuno's one-of-a-kind TPU midsole made waves with its responsive feel and lack of foam cushioning.

First Look: Vibram Five Fingers Spyridon LS
Vibram's first trail running Five Fingers shoe, with a mesh rock plate and mountian bike tire tread. First test was a 12 mile run up Kanaka Peak. Things are looking good over at Vibram. 

First Impressions: Skora Form
How do you improve on barefoot running? Use super-soft goat leather for the shoes upper. It's like running in an Escalade.

First Impressions: Brooks Running Pure Connect 
The not-minimal minimalist shoe. Brooks' design tweaks allowed for a barefoot-style run without the barefoot-style lack of cushioning. Great for longer road runs.

Paix-ing It Forward: Paix Clothiers

Nope, it's not a tech tee. Just plain old cotton. It's not reflective, doesn't wick sweat away, and if it gets wet, it'll stay wet. On the other hand, Paix does donate 20% of its proceeds to charitable causes around the world. Very cool, but it's not the only clothing company that does that.

What sets Paix Clothiers apart from other giving gear is that its t-shirt line gives you constant updates on the project that your purchase supported. Scan the QRC code on your shirt with your smartphone to see which project your shirt helped fund, and how it's going. In the words of co-founder Mark Yoder,

"Each shirt has a patch with a QR Code on it, so the shirt is forever linked to updates on the project. Just scan it with your phone and you can keep tabs on your contribution to the world!"

The first project is a two-parter with Thirst Relief International, whose mission goes further than just drilling a well and taking off. According to Paixclothiers.com: 

"Their “WASH” program provides a deep bore well, a pump and filtration system, multiple taps that serve as faucets or drinking fountains, and latrines to improve sanitation."

 Project one will provide the WASH program for a middle school in the Tirupur District in India and another for a village in the Virudhunagar District of India.

It's one thing to donate to a cause, it's a whole other beast to get to see the impact you've made as it develops. It's a very cool idea. If people went all "Black Friday" on Paix shirts, I'd feel a bit better about the post-Thanksgiving stampeding.

Take a look over at Paixclothiers.com.