Wish List: Gifts for the Zombie Apocalypse
You can find gifts for the runner, backpacker, etc. on every other
outdoor gear blog. Literally. Great websites that'll help you shop for
the outdoorsy loved ones in your life. Some of my favorites are listed
here under Friends of Trek Tech. Good people, all.
HOWEVER, only Trek Tech brings the Zom-Pocalypse to your doorstep. If
(when?) the dead rise, you know the survivors will be the ones who know
how to survive outside. So it's no surprise that some of the best zombie
survival gear comes from the outdoors world. I asked around the Book of Faces,
and a surprising amount of recommendations involved a fresh set of
undies. Here are some gifts for your crazy uncle with the zombie
obsession.
Gerber Legendary Blades Apocalypse Kit ($350, gerbergear.com)
It's a no-brainer (get it?). Like I said in an earlier post,
blades don't run out of ammo and they keep you silent, but deadly to
the undead. Gerber Legendary Blades' seven piece A-Kit lets you pick the
right knife/machete/hatchet for dispatching the "life-impared." Note:
the kit is sold out (of course), but the individual components are all
available, so you can mix 'n match your own kit.
Tactical Bacon ($15 for a 9oz. can, cmmginc.com)
If I had to only eat one thing for the rest of my life...you guessed it.
Muscle-building protein, saturated fat for winter weather insulation,
and oh, yeah-it's delicious. Tactical Bacon comes fully cooked and has
a10+ year shelf life. Nom nom nom.
Polarmax AYG Boxer Briefs ($29.99, polarmax.com)
The support you need, but the mobility you desire. Polarmax's All Year
Gear Boxer Briefs are made of a 4-way stretch that won't hinder motion
while you dart through a shambling horde. The Acclimate Fresh treatment
lets you go longer between those vulnerable laundry stops, and the
polyester dries quickly after those particularly terrifying encounters.
Kru82 Vodka ($19.99 for 750ml, kru82.com)
When you spend the whole day foraging for food/survivors and sprinting
from/braining the undead, you're going to need to chase the pain away.
Kru82 brilliantly packs their vodka in a shatterproof 18/8 stainless
steel bottle, keeping your beverage safe and sound. Until martini time,
that is.
Darn Tough Merino Run Series Socks ($16, darntough.com)
Regardless of what's going on in the world around you, it's good to know
your feet are taken care of. I mean - the last thing you need out there
is trenchfoot slowing you down. Darn Tough socks are the toughest socks
that you can get your hands on; made with densely-knit merino wool,
they're tough, soft, comfortable, and stink-resistant. Heck, they even
come with a lifetime guarantee, which is more than I can say for their
wearers.
Triple Aught Design's Legionnaire Pants ($129, tripleaughtdesign.com)
Too thick to bite through, yet stylish enough to help you repopulate the
planet. The Legionnaire pant sports 9oz cotton herringbone fabric,
triple stitching, reinforced knees and a wealth of storage for rapid
transit with all your earthly belongings. There's even two secret
pockets for stowing valuables if you get accosted by a roving band of
marauders (assuming you don't already lead one).
That's a good start. If you've got any other ideas, feel free to chime
in. I'm always looking for supplies to add to the bomb shelter.
